These are the reasons why the LGBTQ community has low-self esteem

Common Reasons why our community may suffer from low self-esteem 

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Research has shown that gays may experience higher levels of stress and lower self-esteem, due to a variety of factors. These factors are often interrelated and affect one another. When looking at self-esteem, we have to consider your past and current environment. We have to look at your upbringing, parental relationships, peer relationships, biology, and socioeconomic position. I personally believe 30% of fucking research! You have to live in The experience, to know what the fuck it's like to be human being, and be treated like an alien. I bet it's a surprise to you why each gay hasn't blown their fucking heads off! Let me tell you why! We have Strenghth like no other!

Common factors that has been known to impact the LGBTQ community negativity:

‍Stigma and discrimination: The LGBTQ community experiences discrimination, prejudice, and social rejection from society at the highest rates, which can lead to feelings of isolation and low self-worth. Being ostrisized can have a devistating effect on people. It makes you feel disconnected and unloved. People have the tendency to fear what they don't understand- and what people fear, they usually stay away from. Which causes negative view points and misleading dialogue.

‍Internalized homophobia: Gay men may internalize negative societal messages about their sexual orientation and develop negative beliefs, and attitudes about themselves. Some of us start to believe the negative stereo types about ourselves. You can only be beat down by negative words for so long before you subconciously allow them in, and they become you. This can lead to feelings of shame, self-loathing, and low self-esteem. In this the community starts to act out in other ways... Such as connecting with the wrong people, having unprotected sex, being promiscuous aka being a whore. Then there's Usage of drugs, and ultimately committing suicide, catching diseases, or just going through life in pain and never living up to being the best you. All of these behaviors come in part because all we want is to be loved and liked. 

 Societal expectations:  of masculinity make it more difficult for us gay men to reconcile our sexual orientation with their gender identity, leading to feelings of confusion and self-doubt. Which in case we become more fucked up about who we are.

Trauma: Bullying and rejection are two of the more common forms of trauma that can impact a gay man's self-esteem. Other forms of trauma may include sexual or physical assault, or threats of harm. Some of us have been shamed privately and publicly to the point that our spirits have been broken and our mental health has been shattered.

‍Mental health, neurodivergence, & substance abuse issues: Issues like anxiety, depression, trauma, addiction, ADHD, and autism spectrum disorder are often related to lower self-esteem. Anxiety, depression, trauma, and substance abuse issues have been found to be higher in gay men when compared to heterosexual men. There's no wonder to why this would be true. We're always trying not to "feel" because when all you feel is pain and suffering- you need something to help you bare through it. How would you feel not having one person supporting you? No one!? Imagine that... Then and only then can you feel a fraction of what the LGBTQ community goes through.

Lack of representation: As Gay men bisexual men, and the rest of our letters (lgbtqia) men we experience feelings of invisibility, and isolation due to a lack of representation in the media and society, which can contribute to low self-esteem. This has come a long ways since the 80's and 90's but we still have so much work to do.

10 Ways the LGBTQ+ Community Can Build Confidence and Self-Love

Living authentically and confidently as a gay man or a member of the LGBTQ+ community can sometimes feel like a challenge, especially in a world where societal views or mistreatment can weigh on our sense of self. Where we feel weak and subdued by every day challenges of just being being "us!" I will never understand how you being you, and me being me- can cause so much hate in the world. We never asked for anything special or to be seen better then anyone. All we wanted from people is acceptance and love. How could that be so wrong? Isn't that what we all want? Is'nt it what we all deserve? "All we ever wanted- was to be married and miserable like everyone else! Why is that so fuckin hard for people to just let us do?" That's something we will never know- so we have to stop caring, and just be the best that we can be for ourselves. self-love and confidence are achievable when we actively nurture them. Here are 10 ways to embrace who you are and build a stronger connection with yourself:

1. Celebrate Your Identity: Recognize that your identity is a unique and beautiful part of who you are. Celebrate your individuality and let it shine in all areas of your life. Celebrate that you are important and you hold value in this life. If you done bad things in life it does take away your value! If you haven't went to college or achieved what others have- it doesn't take away your value or your importance. None of those things add to or take away from your value in life and what you add to it! You are important and valuable simply because you 'exist!' there is nobody else like you! That's a value nobody can use money to get.
2. Surround Yourself with Support: Build a community of friends, family, and allies who love and accept you for who you are. A strong support system can help bolster your confidence. If your family puts you down and don't accept you- realize that you are now an adult! We are no longer children starving for mamas attention. If they don't want to love and accept you properly- that shows more about who they are as people, it doesn't define who you are as a person. Forgive them, and find a way to release that burden because it's not one you should be carrying. Find authentic love within a new community that you build around yourself. But most of all learn to love yourself & show yourself grace. you don't need validation from any outside source to be you authenticly! 
3. Practice Self-Care: Take time to prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health. Activities like exercising, meditating, or journaling can help you stay grounded and connected to yourself. This a time to connect to you not hide and shadow yourself. Stop thinking from a place of pain, stop thinking from a place of what happened to you or what they did to you. Im sorry that they heart you! I'm sorry that they kicked you when you where down and spit on you instead of giving you a drink of water. But guess what? You control the next chapter in your life! Start by not giving people the power to make you hate yourself! That's too much power! Love yourself the way you want people to love you, and you'll heal that part of you that's been broken!
4. Set Boundaries: Protect your peace by setting boundaries with people who drain your energy or disrespect your identity. It’s okay to say no and remove negativity from your life. That goes for family members too! Start teaching people how to treat you,band how they must respect you. If they can't adhere to your stand on your values then delete them and start adding people to your block list! Period!
5. Educate Yourself: Learn about LGBTQ+ history, rights, and achievements. Understanding the resilience of those who came before you, can inspire confidence in your own journey. Remember that you may feel like you stand alone but you stand on the shoulders of hundreds-of- thousands that came before you.
6. Express Yourself: Whether through fashion, art, writing, or music, find creative ways to express your true self. Authentic self-expression is empowering and freeing. You don't have to live in a closed or hide your authenticity because of shame! You being you is beautiful, you have nothing to be ashamed of! You rise like the beautiful phoenix you are. Nobody in this world is as strong as the LGBTQIA community! Nobody!
7. Challenge Negative Thoughts: When self-doubt or internalized negativity creeps in, challenge those thoughts with affirmations and positive reminders of your worth. Because your worth is unmatched! I'm not saying every day is going to be easy because it's not. Just remember nobody has the power to control how you think and feel about you- but you! 
8. Seek Role Models: Look to LGBTQ+ figures who inspire you. Seeing others live proudly and confidently can motivate you on your path to self-acceptance. Having a positive roll model could do wonders.
9. Get Involved: Participate in LGBTQ+ events, advocacy, or community groups. Contributing to a cause greater than yourself can instill a sense of purpose and belonging.
10. Forgive Yourself and Others: Let go of past mistakes or hurt caused by others. Forgive yourself  for pain you caused others, forgive yourself for doing drugs or having sex with Tom, dick, and Harry! Start from this point and start loving you. The first step in the right direction is forgiving yourself and forgiving those that hurt you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, but it allows you to move forward with a lighter heart.

Ultimately, no matter how society views or treats us, we have to be strong enough to love ourselves unconditionally. Confidence and self-love are not built overnight, but with patience and persistence we'll get better at it. We deserve love and companionship, but not at the cost of losing our damn minds in the process... So for now focus on getting through the anger and the hurt, and focus on falling in love with you. Wouldn't that be a great feeling? Finally loving the beauty they always hated.

The Key Takeaway

The key takeaway and the lesson I hope you learned today is to always focus on growth, learning, and resilience in every situation. Challenges and setbacks are inevitable, but they often carry valuable lessons that help us grow stronger and wiser. By maintaining a positive mindset and staying open to new opportunities, you can turn obstacles into stepping stones toward success. Remember, progress comes from persistence, and each small step forward brings you closer to achieving your goals. Stay curious, adaptable, and committed to your personal and professional growth. 

• Remember you are responsible for how you feel.
• You are responsible for you, as in the energy you bring into the world- don't keep leaking your pain onto other people. Hurt people hurt people.
• Remember you had the power in you all along, you just have to use it.
• You have to be the highest authority in your life & in your business.
• Learn to define success for yourself.

Mya Angelou the great activist and poet said- "success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it."

I have defined by own personal success as:

1. Living with a joyful and loving heart
2. To make money doing what I love.
3. To make a contribution to the elevation of humanity.
4. I'm a speaker of peace, love, and joy not happiness but joy!

Resources for LGBTQ Individuals Seeking Support

If you are a part of the LGBTQ community and are experiencing homelessness or need access to housing and shelter, or if you need assistance with rehab or HIV medication, there are reliable resources available to help. Below are trusted links and phone numbers to organizations that provide support, care, and guidance tailored to LGBTQ individuals:

• The Trevor Project - 24/7 crisis support and resources for LGBTQ youth. Visit The Trevor Project or call 1-866-488-7386.
• Lambda Legal - Legal assistance and support for LGBTQ individuals. Visit Lambda Legal or call 1-866-542-8336.
• Housing Assistance: True Colors United - Focused on ending LGBTQ youth homelessness. Learn more at True Colors United.
• National Runaway Safeline - Free, confidential help for youth in crisis. Visit National Runaway Safeline or call 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929).
• HIV/AIDS Support: AIDS.gov - Comprehensive information on HIV prevention, care, and treatment. Visit HIV.gov.
• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) - Assistance with rehab and mental health support. Visit SAMHSA or call their helpline at 1-800-662-4357.

You are not alone. These organizations are here to provide guidance, support, and the resources you need to navigate challenges. Reach out today for compassionate, reliable assistance. I am here for you too! You can email me and I will answer. If it's really important I will allow us to talk over the phone. Be safe out there my brothers and sisters and know that love shows up in all kinds of ways. I hope that you feel my love for you.

         Sincerely your friends & life coach:

                      A. Lancaster & J. Champagne 

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• Self-worth
• Self-esteem 
• Identity struggles
• Rejection 
• Shame
• Internalized homophobia 
• Mental health 
• Mental health challenges
• Gay
• Lesbian 
• Transgender
• Intersex
• Queer
• LGBTQ community 
• LGBTQIA 
• Self-love