I'm not here to tell you that dealing with anger management is easy, because I know it's not. I use to have severe anger issues. My anger was so red hot, you might've thought I was possessed when I went off on someone. My mentality was like 'if you piss me off I'll burn the house down with me in it, just to get you.' very sad, but it was very true at one point. Now I'm able to be more mindful and understand of myself, others and my triggers. If you want to stop reading  this already, don't do it! This was meant for you. I'm going to explain what anger is, how it starts, how to learn your triggers, how to deal with things better by giving you  solutions, that will help you conquer it.

Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.

Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings, or motivate you to find solutions to problems.

But excessive anger can cause problems. Increased blood pressure and other physical changes associated with anger make it difficult to think straight and when that happens- we harm ourselves, our physical and mental health.

We all feel angry at times – it's part of being human. Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. Don't ever feel like something is wrong with you because you get angry. Anger is normal!

There are many different reasons why we might feel angry. We may feel anger at having been treated badly or unfairly by others. Our anger may be a reaction to difficult experiences in our daily life, our past, or in the world around us. Or it may be a way to cope with other emotions. For example, we may feel anger alongside feeling attacked, powerless, embarrassed or scared. 

We may not know why we feel angry and that's okay too. We don't always need to justify or explain why we feel a certain way. Because we don't always know or understand ourselves.

Sometimes anger can be a helpful emotion. But sometimes it can be difficult to manage and make our lives harder. This is who needs to keep reading this. That person who is overwhelmed with anger that it's hurting you and others... I've been there, done that, got the T-shirt to prove it.

Learning how to recognize, express and manage anger can make a big difference to our mental health, and our over all being.

How can anger be helpful? 

Feeling angry can sometimes be useful. For example, feeling angry about something can:

1. Help us identify problems
2. Help protect us from things that are hurting us
3. Help us feel more energized or focused on a task
4. Motivate us to push for changes in the world or to help others who are being treated badly
5. Help us to challenge and stand against injustice or discrimination
6. Help us stay safe and defend ourselves in dangerous situations by giving us a burst of energy as part of our body's natural response to threats and feelings of distrust.

Life is crazy and all the smart talking around the core of the issue is not going to help. We allow people to upset us too much... You should never give people power to change your mood or put you in a bad mental space, that last long periods of time. They don't deserve that type of power over you or your emotions.

What Can Anger Do to My Health?

Anger is a natural emotion, but when it becomes frequent or overwhelming, it can take a toll on your physical and mental well-being. Chronic anger can increase your risk of health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke. It often leads to elevated stress levels, which can weaken your immune system over time and make you more prone to illnesses. Anger can also contribute to digestive issues like ulcers or irritable bowel syndrome, as well as exacerbate conditions such as headaches or migraines. Additionally, it may impact your mental health, increasing the risk of anxiety, depression, or sleep disturbances. By learning to manage anger effectively, such as through mindfulness, therapy, or relaxation techniques, you can protect your health and improve your overall quality of life.

How to Analyze and Break Down Your Triggers to Manage Anger

Understanding and managing anger begins with identifying the triggers that set it off. Triggers are situations, words, or behaviors that elicit a strong emotional response, often leading to anger. To effectively analyze and break down these triggers, start by reflecting on recent moments when you felt angry. What events led up to your reaction? Was it a specific comment, a stressful environment, or unmet expectations? Once identified, dig deeper into the emotions behind the anger—are you feeling disrespected, unheard, or overwhelmed? Recognizing these underlying emotions is crucial for breaking down your response. Next, consider patterns. Do certain people, circumstances, or times of day consistently provoke anger? Journaling these experiences can help reveal recurring themes. Lastly, develop healthy coping mechanisms such as deep breathing, stepping away to cool off, or reframing the situation to shift your perspective. By analyzing your triggers and understanding their roots, you can take control of your responses and cultivate a more balanced, calm way of handling anger. Learn how to be present in the moment of anger so you can look deeper into the reason.

"Anger is on a spectrum and nobody will understand your anger like you. That's why it's important to take control of your anger. If anger makes you do things you don't normally do outside of feeling that emotion- there inlies a big problem. Your anger should never overpower you. If your anger is the winner then what does that make you?"

Here are 10 things you should do when you get angry

Think before you speak

1.) In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. Also allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

2.) Once you're calm, express your concerns

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

3.) Get some exercise

Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run. Or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.

4.) Take a timeout

Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.

5.) Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room make you upset? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening. Or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Also, understand that some things are simply out of your control. Try to be realistic about what you can and cannot change. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.

6.) Stick with 'I' statements

Criticizing or placing blame might only increase tension. Instead, use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes" instead of "You never do any housework."

7.)  Don't hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. Forgiving someone who angered you might help you both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.

8.) Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

9.)  Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

10.)  Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger can be a challenge at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.

12 Online Anger Management Resources You Can Access Anytime

Managing anger effectively is an essential skill for maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being. If you're looking for reliable support, here are 12 online anger management resources that provide expert guidance and tools. These links offer a variety of methods, including courses, exercises, and strategies to help you better understand and control your emotions. Whether you're seeking professional advice or self-help tools, these resources are available to assist you:

1. Verywell Mind: Anger Management Strategies – A comprehensive guide to practical anger management techniques.
2. Therapy Appointment Anger Resources – A curated list of therapy-oriented anger management tools.
3. Calm Clinic – Learn how to handle anger through emotional regulation and practical advice.
4. Psychology Tools: Anger Management Worksheets – Free, evidence-based worksheets to better manage anger.
5. BetterHelp Anger Advice – Articles and access to licensed online therapists for personalized anger management support.
6. Headspace: Meditation for Anger – Guided meditations designed to calm anger and foster mindfulness.
7. American Psychological Association (APA): Anger – Expert resources and insights on understanding the root causes of anger.
8. Coursera Anger Management Courses – Online courses tailored to mastering anger management techniques.
9. MindTools: Controlling Anger – Practical tips to manage anger in professional and personal settings.
10. Anger.org – A dedicated platform offering diverse anger management resources and tips to stay calm.
11. Open Path Collective – Affordable anger management therapy services available online.
12. NAMI: Understanding Anger Disorders – A resource by the National Alliance on Mental Illness covering anger-related mental health conditions.

These resources can empower you to take control of your emotions and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Whether you want to explore quick techniques or dive deeper into therapy, these links are a great starting point for your journey towards better emotional balance. Remember a better you starts with one step. Below is more resources I compiled by image in the slide show. If you need aittle extra help- podcast are always good. These are my choices for you to check out. If I can assist you simply reach out to me via email. Remember you can do this, don't let anger win.